George Carlin snakker om katter

Det har blitt skrevet bøker, laget plater og tv-programmer om katter. Men ingen av dem har oppsummert dyret på samme måte som legenden George Carlin.

Ukrainsk landsby vil skifte navn til “Michael Jackson”

Michael Jackson er død, lenge leve Michael Jackson.

Den folkekjære artisten har knapt forlatt denne jorden før det forsøkes å gjøre profitt på hans ettermæle. Biletter til minnestunden hans går for øyeblikket for 64.000 kroner, og det flere som vet å utnytte hans bortgang.

Medlemmene av der regionale rådet i Zaporozhie, Ukraina, har sent et forslag til landets nasjonalforsamling der de ønsker å skifte navnet på en av landsbyene til Michael Jackson. Ifølge den ukrainske avisen Reporte Zaporozhiya har forslaget vært oppe til diskusjon i det regionale rådet en gang, og en endelig avgjørelse vil bli tatt på neste møte.

Om dette faktisk kommer til å bli gjennoført vil ettertiden vise, men landsbyen er ikke alene i å ha orginale navn. Blant annet kan vi nevne byen Batman i Tyrkia med 246,700 innbyggere, som i november i fjor truet regissør Christopher Nolan med søksmål for å ha laget filmen The Dark Knight uten å ha bedt dem om tillatelse.

Landsbyen Oktyabrskoe er forøvrig blitt foreslått som kandidat til navnebyttet, som skal ære artisten som døde av hjertestans torsdag 25 juni.

Det er vel neppe noen andre om vil prøve seg, eller?

Jobber du i musikksjappe må det være lov å si fra.

Er du musiker, eller bare elsker musikk, og jobber i en musikksjappe må du lære å gå på akkord med deg selv. Men av og til kan tålmodigheten din bli strukket litt for langt. Det har de ansatte på en butikk i Denmark Street i London fått erfare, og da må det være lov å si fra…

Evolusjon eller intelligent design?

De 101 voldeligste filmene.

#	Antall drepte	Film	År
1	836	LotR: Return of the King (ex)	2003
2	610	Kingdom of Heaven (ex)	2005
3	600	300	2007
4	572	Troy	2004
5	558	The Last Samurai	2003
6	468	LotR: Two Towers (ex)	2002
7	310	Grindhouse: Double Feature	2007
8	307	Hard Boiled	1992
8	307	Titanic	1997
10	305	We Were Soldiers	2002
11	256	Starship Troopers	1997
12	255	Saving Private Ryan	1998
13	247	Rambo	2008
14	236	Equilibrium	2002
15	214	Bullet in the Head	1990
16	199	A Better Tomorrow II	1987
17	187	Blood Diamond	2006
17	187	The Chronicles of Riddick	2004
19	186	Dune	1984
20	184	Braveheart	1995
21	181	McBain	1991
22	175	Dawn of the Dead	1978
23	172	The Last of the Mohicans	1992
24	169	Lone Wolf and Cub: White Heaven in Hell	1974
25	155	The Mummy	1999
26	153	Pearl Harbor	2001
27	152	Hero	2002
28	151	Shoot ‘Em Up	2007
29	149	The Killer	1989
30	146	Invasion U.S.A.	1985
31	145	The Wild Bunch	1969
32	141	House of the Dead	2003
33	140	Blade: Trinity	2004
33	140	Zulu	1964
35	139	Kelly’s Heroes	1970
36	131	Dawn of the Dead	2004
37	127	Rambo III	1988
37	127	Versus	2000
39	126	The Good, the Bad and the Ugly	1966
40	124	Resident Evil: Extinction	2007
41	123	The Patriot	2000
41	123	Resident Evil: Apocalypse	2004
43	122	From Dusk Till Dawn	1996
44	120	Operation Delta Force	1997
44	120	The Outlaw Josey Wales	1976
46	119	Akira	1988
47	118	Red Dawn	1984
47	118	LotR: Fellowship of the Ring (ex)	2001
49	115	Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem	2007
49	115	Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith	2005
51	114	American Ninja	1985
51	114	Apocalypto	2006
51	114	Hot Shots! Part Deux	1993
54	111	Blade	1998
55	109	Bridge of Dragons	1999
55	109	A Fistful of Dollars	1964
57	107	Army of Darkness	1993
58	106	Platoon Leader	1988
59	105	The Scorpion King	2002
60	104	Red Scorpion	1989
61	102	BloodRayne	2006
62	100	Missing in Action	2003
62	100	Where Eagles Dare	1968
64	99	Once Upon a Time in Mexico	2003
65	98	Blade II	2002
66	97	War	2007
67	96	The Punisher	1989
68	95	Kill Bill: Vol. 1	2003
69	93	Flags of Our Fathers	2006
70	92	Delta Force 2	1990
71	91	Ritana	2002
71	91	You Only Live Twice	1967
73	90	Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest	2006
74	88	Commando	1985
75	86	The Lion, the Witch, & the Wardrobe	2005
76	84	Letters from Iwo Jima	2006
76	84	Raiders of the Lost Ark	1981
78	80	Desperado	1995
78	80	Fifth Element	1997
80	78	Team America	2004
81	77	Children of Men	2006
81	77	Gladiator	2000
81	77	Total Recall	1990
84	76	Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull	2008
85	75	Star Wars IV: A New Hope	1977
85	75	XXX	2002
87	74	Serenity	2005
87	74	Sweepers	1998
89	73	War, Inc.	2008
90	71	The Spy Who Loved Me	1977
90	71	True Lies	1994
92	69	Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi	1983
93	68	The Long Kiss Goodnight	1996
93	68	Sahara	2005
95	67	Rambo: First Blood Part II	1985
96	66	xXx: State of the Union	2005
97	65	A Better Tomorrow	1986
97	65	Timeline	2003
97	65	Under Siege	1992
100	64	Predator	1987
101	63	Bad Boys II	2003

Homeopati schmomeopati

Mitchell & Webb slår til igjen. Mennene bak serien Peep-show gir en fantastisk beskrivelse av homeopater

Dette er resultatet av overdrevet fokus på matematikk i skolen…

Riktig. Mg+

Har du husdyr? Ja, nei, kanskje, muligens, et par, noen ender…..

Det hele begynte uskyldig nok. Noen i bygningen mente de hadde hørt et dyr i en av leiligheten. Selskapet som eier bygningen tar raskt affære, og sender et brev til leietageren, David:

For mange ville dette være avskrekkende for videre husdyrhold, men den godeste David vet råd.
Han sender raskt en mail tilbake for å forklare hva som har skjedd:

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 10.16am
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

Thankyou for your letter concerning pets in my apartment. I understand that having dogs in the apartment is a violation of the agreement due to the comfort and wellbeing of my neighbours and I am currently soundproofing my apartment with egg cartons as I realise my dogs can cause quite a bit of noise. Especially during feeding time when I release live rabbits.

Regards, David.

Dette fører til en mailkorrenspondanse som til ettertiden burde stå som et eksempel på hvor stor makt det ligger i å kunne forvirre:

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Pets in the building

Hello David

I have received your email and wish to remind you that the strata agreement states that no animals are allowed in the building regardless of if your apartment is soundproof. How many dogs do you have at the premises?

Helen

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 1.52pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

Currently I only have eight dogs but one is expecting puppies and I am very excited by this. I am hoping for a litter of at least ten as this is the number required to participate in dog sled racing. I have read every Jack London novel in preparation and have constructed my own sled from timber I borrowed from the construction site across the road during the night. I have devised a plan which I feel will ensure me taking first place in the next national dog sled championships. For the first year of the puppies life I intend to say the word mush then chase them violently around the apartment while yelling and hitting saucepan lids together. I have estimated that the soundproofing of my apartment should block out at least sixty percent of the noise and the dogs will learn to associate the word mush with great fear so when I yell it on race day, the panic and released adrenaline will spur them on to being winners. I am so confident of this being a foolproof plan that I intend to sell all my furniture the day before the race and bet the proceeds on coming first place.

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 9.43am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

David, I am unsure what to make of your email. Do you have pets in the apartment or not?

Helen

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 11.27am
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

No. I have a goldfish but due to the air conditioner in my apartment being stuck on a constant two degrees celcius, the water in its bowl is iced over and he has not moved for a while so I do not think he is capable of disturbing the neighbours. The ducks in the bathroom are not mine. The noise which my neighbours possibly mistook for a dog in the apartment is just the looping tape I have of dogs barking which I play at high volume while I am at work to deter potential burglars from breaking in and stealing my tupperware. I need it to keep food fresh. Once I ate leftover chinese that had been kept in an unsealed container and I experienced complete awareness. The next night I tried eating it again but only experienced chest pains and diarrhoea.

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 1.46pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Hello David

You cannot play sounds of dogs or any noise at a volume that disturbs others. I am sure you can appreciate that these rules are for the benefit of all residents of the building. Fish are fine. You cannot have ducks in the apartment though. If it was small birds that would be ok.

Helen

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 2.18pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

They are very small ducks.

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 4.06pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

David, under section 4 of the strata residency agreement it states that you cannot have pets. You agreed to these rules when you signed the forms. These rules are set out to benefit everyone in the building including yourself. Do you have a telephone number I can call you on to discuss?

Helen

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 5.02pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

The ducks will no doubt be flying south for the winter soon so it will not be an issue. It is probably for the best as they are not getting along very well with my seventeen cats anyway. .

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Monday 25 May 2009 9.22am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

David, I am just going to write on the forms that we have investigated and you do not have any pets.

Helen